Going Home.

Going. Home.


This post is about that.

For many years (13+) I have wanted that.

To possess my own home.


The last time I remember

the true feeling of “home” was at age 11.

We were living in an modest house

on a beautiful place complete with rolling hills and a running creek.

I loved it for sledding and for the forest at the edge of the property. I felt like a greatexplorer!

Loved the finished basement with pool table, shuffleboard and the T.V. where I watched Apollo 13 land on the moon.

Loved how we as a family would go on payday to  Stewart’s Drive In

and get what is STILL the best Root Beer made anywhere in the world. stewarts root beer

Loved the snow forts my Dad helped build, and the shed he cleared for the neighbor kids to use      for a sleepover. Well, ok, sorta  sleepovers ’cause we always got scared and ended up moving to the basement for the rest of the night!   Loved the church where I sang and did Bible crafts.

A sense of family. A sense of   belonging.


Then. we. moved.

Some children needed care, and Mom and Dad’s hearts were pulled to the neighboring state to fill that need. I reluctantly tagged along. But I was leaving “home”.

We moved once more after that. These moves were to give others that same sense of family that I cherished; a place to belong in a Children’s Christian Home. With these experiences I became more flexible, more fluid with the River.  At least I thought so.

When my own family  left the mission field in Honduras to allow our daughter to complete her studies in the States, a part of me stayed behind. I was not prepared for this move. I thought we would be living there for many, many years. I was not expecting to move so soon.

I didn’t yet comprehend the path that Abba had for us. I presumed that I knew and tried to walk that out.

But my steps were ordered by Him, flamy symbol  so they always led me  to a place unexpected.   It can be uncomfortable, confusing, and awkward at first, until you begin to recognize the shift and discern the times. Like breaking in a new pair of shoes. It is a process.

The process is not meant to please , but to develop one’s potential!

Until we learned that our “shape” had changed,  we were unsettled. And with its change came a different function.

 We are shaped to be fluid. My husband and I are  to bend and move as the River flows. Sometimes that means being wide open with a mighty current, other times it is nearly still and seems like nothing is happening at all.  But still water runs deep! A friend of ours recently made a statement about us that is simply profound. She said “…but you live in tents”.  Yes, we do. That is our shape.  Others may be skyscrapers, or homes built of stone. But us- we are fluid.

The River has boundaries, it has a course carved out by its flowing.

We have been in an advanced course of learning how to respond to the movement of the River.

As the River  flows, anything in its path is changed.

As I reflect back upon the last several years– nearly 9 of them, I ask what the lessons learned are?

The lawsuit brought a settlement of great gain. Yet we have not held a penny of it in our hands to this date. That has tested us.  We heard someone say “Money costs too much”.  And fin the first few years of this “season” I began to understand this.  The price seemed unfair, yet the appeal of wealth would cause us to dream. And dreaming is good. Abba wants us to dream. But the dreams must be founded upon Him and nothing else. The Lord had to do a work in us so that nothing glittered and not one shimmer remained when we thought of the settlement.

The appeal had to die.  It was either it or us, and Abba is not willing that any should perish.  Water changes the shape of anything in its path.  We needed some smoothing, some shaping and some polishing.    So He sat us under a great and powerful waterfall. 

It was overwhelming at first.

At first we wanted to shake our fists and leap out from under the torrent! By His gentle but firm grace, we stayed.  We had to teach our ears to listen. We heard so many things. Thundering threats, taunts,and condemnation from the enemy through other Believers; news of what was happening that most would not believe; all these had to be sifted and weighed. Be-StillOur hearing has become keen. Instead of being deafened by the roar, we learned to hear the mightiest still Voice.

And He said “Peace, be still” to each and every one of our complaints, questions and despairing cries.

What more have we learned?  That God is for us, God is with us, regardless of how it looks to others or how it feels to us!

This matter is settled in us.  Engraved-in-stone-like-a covenant settled! 

We are convinced of God’s choosing, His favor and His presence.   He is not only with us, but He is MIGHTILY with us. He is not only “greatest within us” but He is the GREATEST. No one compares to Him. He is the Great I Am.  No weapon formed against us has prospered. Many were formed in the fires of hell, but not one has prospered!   But our souls, they have prospered and that process had nothing to do with any jingle in our pockets!  NO AMOUNT of money can buy that assurance. We would not trade that assurance for one cent of the settlement nor one inch of any property. What began as a home grant based upon ministry experience has ended with a gift so much more valuable, so rare and so very priceless!

You see, when you are in the waterfall’s torrent, you are also engulfed in the promise!


I have an amazing husband. Truly. For many months my cries to “go home” reached his ears several times daily. He never became angry. He never showed anything but love and compassion, and the deep desire to make that happen if he could. And I know that if he could have, he WOULD HAVE!  In any normal situation, that would be an option and a goal. But we surrendered ALL options to the Lord in a sovereign commission 9 years ago.  He asked us to “come up higher” and exhorted us that we could not change our minds once we agreed.  We said YES.   And Yes means yes. Not maybe, not part way, not all but this.  YES. Sure, certainly, absolutely, indeed, right, affirmative.  Carved-in-stone-like-a-covenant- “yes”.

That yes was not swayed by the legal battles  that after our response quickly ensued nor the atypical challenges we face.  It was a covenant between us and God. We took the limits off of Him. Like Job, we have not understood much of what has transpired.  Unlike Job, we have seen God sovereignly keep two amazing properties  under contact for over 4 years! Every attempt to rob us of this has failed. They are part of His plan and we have but a glimpse of it.  Sometimes I wish I had never seen them. Other times I am awestruck at even being considered for part of this divine plan.  If we never, ever step foot on either one,  we shall yet praise Him.  home-is-where-the-heart-isWe abide.

We wait. We wait for the River’s rise and velocity to shift. When it does, we will not be overcome, but we will move with it, allowing it to carry us to the Father’s appointed destination.  And we know that anywhere He carries us is Home.




In all your “Letting Go”, HOLD ON!

Let it go.

We are hearing that a lot lately. It is all over Pinterest. It is in conversations on T.V.

and of course a stanza from the popular Frozen movie song.

Letting go is good.

I did an in depth study of Psalm 46:10 many years ago.

The discovery of the meaning found there was a pivotal prompt in my walk with God.


THAT is the doing. Be, just “be”.

Not go, not declare, shout , sing, or say, not create, not fight;  BE.

It actually means “cease to strive” as in a tug of war.


The only way you can cease a tug of war is to let go of the rope!

That’s hard enough for most of us, isn’t it? But then He continues: “Be still”–  Oh, You want me to exercise even more discipline and BE +  still?  (Wow. You have more confidence in me than I do! )

Jerusalem was surrounded, threatened. God spoke not only to His people, but to the proud and bloated adversaries:


You who know Me, be still. Remember Who I Am.

You who seek to exalt yourselves, know that I, I alone, am GOD.

Are you tired?  Are you feeling like a dream or a promise is absolutely elusive?

Feeling overwhelmed or disillusioned?  Are you carrying something  in your heart that you feel is never going to manifest?

Let go of your worry. Let go of your striving; trying- to -work -it -out -make- it -happen- bring -success- to -your -side.


Let the consequences be out of your hand. SO, yeah, let it go.

If you have been tugging on a particular “rope” in your life for an extended time, your hands may have difficulty obeying that command.


Your grip  might be very familiar and your fingers temporarily frozen to that shape.

Letting go does not mean giving up.

It is not waving a flag of surrender to the enemy and his tactics. Yielding to the awesomeness of the Great I Am is not giving up. It is acknowledging your own limitations. That even your greatest expenditure of faith and dedication is not enough. Never was, never will be!


Rest assured that  if He is telling you to “let go; be still”, then He is about to act on your behalf.

So don’t be dismayed. HOLD ON to your belief,  the vision,  the promise.

But let go of the desire to control the timing or the outcome.

You are about to be amazed.  Awesome is a word that I reserve for God alone.

I love those moments when He shows up and shows off, don’t you?

Loosen your grip- open your hand.

Let go of the pebbles you’ve clutched so that He can fill your hands to overflowing.

LettingGo copy

“But as it is written, Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him. But as it is written: What eye did not see and ear did not hear, and what never entered the human mind– God prepared this for those who love Him.”

I Cor. 2:9